I Shed Tears, Felt Fear, and Almost Backed Out

I Shed Tears, Felt Fear, and Almost Backed Out

The coolest thing happened to me this week. I felt like I was ready to share my story with you and there are so many parts of it that aren’t pretty! It took so much courage and before we filmed, I shed a few tears. I felt fear. I almost backed out. I didn’t want to recount what I had long since left behind. But something (or Someone) told me I had to tell you why I am passionate about identity and healthy self-image.

If you follow my Facebook page or Instagram account, you might have seen a few posts on “reality check” as I wanted you to see the made up me (all done up with makeup and hair and great outfits) and totally natural (freckles, blemishes, sparse eye brows, uneven skin, and dirty hair!).

I just want to be honest and real. I love all things girly. I love makeup and fashion and great hair. I love when Marz, my makeup artist, gets me all fixed up. She has such a talent and we’ve worked together for so long that I can always count on her to make me feel glamorous. I absolutely LOVE it.

I also have shot fitness images for many years. I know what is going to look good in a picture and usually what isn’t.  Over the last three years, I have grown so comfortable shooting with Bethany Rogers of Bethany Renee Photography that I often don’t even check on the pictures myself because I know she will get ones I approve of. I can also count on her to shoot me in the best light and at the best angles. I know that she can edit things in post if something is super unflattering. (Though we use as little editing as possible).

But, what we do on these shoots is not really “reality.” It’s an absolute blast but it’s not normal to be made up with someone watching your every hair or shirt fold. It’s also not reality that we get 100/100 great photos. There are a whole bunch of not-great-photos for every one we get that I approve.

I want to keep it really real with you because I do not think I would ever wear makeup every day of my life. I rarely even blowout my hair. I live in flip flops at the beach. And I don’t wear high end fitness apparel all the time. Oh, and right now, I need to cover my grays! We had to use temporary color on this shoot because I slacked and didn’t take care of them ahead of time. Lol!

I had a really wonderful time shooting my story in the end. And I really only scratched the surface. I have had something in my past that I haven’t felt ready to share until now and I am looking forward to Levi,  my husband, getting the video edited. I wanted to redo it over and over but that is just my perfectionistic tendencies. Glad my team didn’t let me. (Thanks, Levi, Bethany, and Marz!).

When we wrapped, I checked my email. In it I had received a personal email from Francesca Battistelli telling me she was ready to go live with my interview on her BLOG! I stood there reading the email with my mouth hanging wide open in disbelief.  Because much of what I had just filmed I shared with Francesca for her website before. It was ready to be published. There is still more to my story that I am excited to bring to the light. However, I really felt like it was like a gift from above that I was being recognized by one of the most amazing Christian musicians on the planet! The timing was divine.

Check out my interview with Francesca HERE…
Please enjoy and stay tuned. Much love and keep it real, xoxo S


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